1. |
Carve Your Chaos Into Me
02:54
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Had the hegemon explained who I was right then
Forgiving us of this disgrace, enabling rebirth
As scars of past start festering
I was raised in tidal waves; pursed lips so no one could read
He’s speaking or am I mistaken? White noise obscures his
Anomic bellows echoing
Even though the time escapes I stay locked in loops of nostalgia
And even though the home is burning I can’t stop laughing
You carved your chaos into me
The room’s spinning
And I’m sinking
Downcast not diseased
Cross eyed not fully blind
Emotionless but still alive
They say we’re running out of time
I say we’re just spinning faster
Than anybody outside
Self righteous or drunk with pride?
Had the hegemon explained who I was
Before the nightmare is complete
Engrave with me
The room's spinning
And I'm sinking
The world's spinning
But we're sinking
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2. |
Long Walk // Short Pier
03:34
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Averted eyes weave up
A thousand failings
That even a stranger
Can infer have been bottled up in secret
As time passes
The dreams etch so wrong
No point in delaying this overflow
Another day another intoxication
That even this stranger
Could infer has been passed from kin to kin
So many times
When I was young
The dreams etched so right
Now grayscale, monochrome
As free will’s pitfalls start to show
No right to delay my true nature surfacing
When I was young
The dreams etched so right
But now drench in the swills I combine
No solace since those sleepless nights
Days numbered, and vices entwined
No silver line
No passage
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3. |
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What I crave is a world to work with
But there’s a wraith that pulls my expectations all back
And conveys the perks of boundless black
Counting down our expiration
Crossing swords with what good’s left
In our heads
Hauntings repeating
Forcing our hand
Hauntings keep repeating
Must mean something
Disintegrating
While the TV’s blaring
Counting down our expiration
Crossing swords with wraiths aflame
You stayed sane through integration
You always kept your eyes closed
Eyes closed for life
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4. |
Nothing Changes
03:18
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Jaded; I was amazed until I was not
Numbed to life’s anomic cold brunt
And now I feel an optimism blooming
Ripe for demolition
Upset
Fantasy ended
And we change nothing
Now resigned
Caught in a streamline
That makes sure nothing changes
Groomed to sniff out pain within the pathos
Each absurdity just echoes
Can’t contain my smile as your empire
Shatters into fragments
Just shatters…
Nothing Changes
Nothing Ever Changes before long
[Everyone does it
It's our sickness we take pride in
And I perhaps more than anyone
I've become convinced that not only too much consciousness
But any consciousness at all
Is a sickness]
Transform
Their heads
Into Speakers
Extract
The truth
Before time ejects its sick
And memory starts blurring
Life’s shit with all its shifting and turning
No way to smokescreen your crimes
So make your peace with something higher
Your stalling plane is falling faster
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5. |
Stabbing Skyward
03:42
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Funny how excess shoos the ghosts away
As friendships burn in effigies
Won’t be long till it’s too late
Silence falls
On vacant halls
I was redeemed by your imprint
Which now lags behind
In some past life
Gagged and bound; daylight invading, I breath out
Could it be the words I need are escaping
Gathered round, exhuming relics in the backyard
Frozen in place, my eyes imbedding
In the sun
Counting down my time
Funny how every smile precedes a tragedy
Can’t get excited
It’s just a thing
I would wake up and do
I know it’s wrong
To linger on
But I’m redeemed by your imprint
So strange and alive
In some past life
Gagged and bound; daylight wasted, I collapse
Could it be the anomie dominating
Gathered round a tattered blueprint of my home
Frozen in place, my eyes imbedding
In the sun
Counting down my time
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6. |
Circadian Low
03:55
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This is where I’d get off
If skies went black enough
To bless the ringing ears with rainfall
Into my extra room
You’d barge with hexes so familiar
And I’d explain It was a risk worth taking
To weave your crude engravings through me
I wanna go to sleep tonight and dream of what went down
Languor lead the way and I’ll be gone
I wanna go sleep tonight and dream of what went wrong
Your fury feels the same although you’ve gone
This is where I’d get off
If my black thoughts were paused and my heart
Cut out its palpitating
Into my extra room
You’d barge demanding explanations
And I’d insist it was a risk worth taking
To weave your crude engravings through me
Make it a point to ignore every symptom
Cause even in stasis we sensed isolation in wait
Ears ring at the crossroads of your love and hatred
And no sleepless spell ever will hammer a meaning
Through me
Just rusty nails
And old man’s liver
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7. |
November Looms
02:56
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Euphoria addicted
Writing wrongs, such a waste in this fiction
Please talk to someone
Still alive, been missing
Eyes bleeding from autumnal infection
Eager to explode
Not paying dues until the right time
Should it ever arrive
On cue, a nimbus sighs, dotting circles round the ends of my eyes
It was real all this time. At the summit looking down November
Tone deaf and livid
Never learned to shut the fuck up and listen
To me or anyone
More resigned each minute
Ditch the dread and accept what you’re gifted
Unable, unstable
Not paying dues until the right time
May it never arrive
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8. |
The Sun Is Coming Up
03:11
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Drifting; a speck in this brown ocean
Steeping in brackishness so welcoming
Producing a stasis like no other
Storming; entranced as I surrender
It’s drowning me
The sun is coming up
To lift the spirit off
And single out the farce in tomorrow
To truss the life we know
And lift its drunken lows
The Sun is coming up
Rising from thresholds undiscovered
Flaring; its radiation smothers
It’s drowning me
The sun is coming up
To hush the spirit’s death raving
To truss the life we know
We resign ourselves to its cravings, endless
The Sun is Coming up
To cleanse the spirit I'm draining
To truss the life we know
And resuscitate the youth you suffocated
Tonight is ended
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9. |
Fall From Grace
05:11
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Time has brought the wannabes to my demesne
Mortified when I saw their design
Hounds are bound to multiply I know I know
I’ll pass the torch and crawl back in my hole
Will my message
Fall on deaf ears
When silence paints me a liar
Has been, deflated
My crumbling tower
Falls by the brick
The vultures encircling
Become the yes men
I deserve
Watch me fall from grace
So gracefully
Toward the center of everything
Time has brought the wannabes to my demesne
Mortified cause my time is fading
Hounds are bound to multiply I know I know
I’d pass the torch but that shit has burned out
My message falls on deaf ears
And silence paints me a liar
Has been, deflated
My crumbling tower falls by the brick
The vultures encircling become the yes men
I deserve
Watch me fall from grace so gracefully
As the world’s turn inspires its fall
I douse myself in gasoline
At the center of everything
Does that paint me a coward?
[I've felt ashamed the times I listen to those old songs
It no longer feels like music, but corrective punishment
Because to hear myself sing of how I defaulted on life to decay in a corner
Elicits nothing but horror and regret
To hear the deformed pride dripping from every word
Its pestilence blighting what little passion remained
Sickening...
I didn't realize it then, but it was pride that was slowly consuming me
It was out of pride I shut myself off
Out of pride I tainted the music with vanity
I didn't need their attention
I was not going to bow and scrape before them
For I had the underground]
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10. |
Mindstate No. 17
08:09
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[I am a sick man
I'm an unattractive man
A wicked man
I don't know the least of my sickness or what exactly ails me
I've lived like this for a long time now
Confined to a corner
Neither wicked nor good
Neither happy nor sad
Neither a hero nor an insect
Taunted by contradictions
Replaying black memories
Frozen in place
With no one to turn to
And nothing to turn into]
There is a place on the moor
Where I would wander with my eyes closed
Reeling; lost in something new
Frequencies lapped in the calm
But buried in calm, there was chaos bloom
Craving stimulation
Recall a mask reflected in the mire
Indifferent as the mushroom cloud caught fire
It barks that I will need to hide away now
But that’s a bit
Prone like a snake in the grass
Fetally stowed as the bangs resume
This war innate and ancient
Running like hell in a trance
I gotta get home for the curfew sound
It cuts through all the suffering
Still see your face reflected in the mire
Indifferent as the mushroom cloud caught fire
You bark that I will need find a way out
My conscience screams to find a way
Die is cast, all is born this evening
Your exodus erupting for no reason
Your atom bomb had come to rescue me right out the
Mindstate 17 too pure to deserve
The conscience screams to find a way
[Let me explain:
The pride comes from the feeling that you've hit the ultimate wall
That, bad as it is, there is no way out
But you, you're still young
You might still seek out the root of the dread
And undo it]
Don’t talk dont groan
You’ve done enough
Don’t waste your love on me
Each cell an abscess
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